One Year Ago...

One year ago today I became a mom for the 5th time.  I remember it being one of those experiences where I wanted to savor every. single. moment.  I remember being on the operating table, looking up at the bright lights, thinking "I will never do this again", and it made me sad.  There is something special about every delivery.  There is bonding between husband and wife, newborn and our Heavenly Father that only happens in that wonderful moment when the first cry is heard.  I have really struggled  processing the fact that I will not have that experience again.  Not too long ago I was making a visit to an elderly woman in our ward who was in the hospital and it hurt to walk those halls.  I remembered taking a stroll a few days after delivery and walking those same halls in a hospital gown...anxious to get back to the nursery to snuggle my sweet new baby.  I loved the hospital.  I loved the endless hours of peace, quiet and bonding.  I loved eating hospital food.  I loved visitors, especially my dad who was already there seeing patients and would pop in when I needed an uplift the most.  I loved everything about each delivery experience.    

Such is life.  We push forward, day by day, not knowing what wonderful experiences lie ahead of us.  Some days are beautiful and somedays are difficult but each day happens and something new is learned.  Emma has completed our little family and has taught me so much this year.  I didn't think my heart could love as much as I love my children.  This year I have not slept through the night once but have loved every single minute snuggling Emma in bed with me while she nursed herself back to sleep.    Knowing that she is my last baby has made me love every milestone that much more.  Today I find myself smiling but sad as we celebrate Emma.  Smiling because she is mine forever and because she brings me so much joy but feeling sadness as I understand that there will likely not every be a first birthday celebrated in our house again.  So today we will celebrate right.  Happy Birthday Emma Renee!

Baseball...

We survived another baseball season!  I am getting really good at packing strollers, blankets, umbrellas, snacks, drinks and entertainment while we enjoy our afternoons/evenings at the ballpark.  There are days I finally put everything down on the grass while sweating my guts out and wonder, "what am I doing?" .  And then I remember.  I am being a mom and I think I am a pretty good one.  What I AM doing is supporting my kids and teaching them to support each other.  They are all involved in something that requires a little sacrifice from the entire family...and hopefully they will look back and remember these as great experiences together.  It isn't easy.  There is often whining and fighting and frustrations.  I took this picture on a crisp morning in Logan at one of the recent tournaments...it was the perfect baseball weekend.  Grandparents and cousins there, perfect weather, endless hours on the playground an on the bleachers, and this little team played their heart out and won the tournament.  Totally worth the sacrifice. 

Emma

I need to document that this sweet child exists.  I have posted nothing about her since her birth which is sad.  She has earned the nickname, "tumor", because her and I are attached and she is kind of a pain but I pain that I love.  She is still nursing.  Yes, you heard that right, nursing at 8 (almost 9) months and it is killing me.  Emma does not like to sleep. Ever. which means we spend a lot of time together...nursing. She likes to be cuddled at night so that is what we do.  I am in pure survival mode with this little one.  She is busy like Summer was.  Crawling happened at about 6 months and she is now in the stage of pulling herself up on everything and walking along furniture.  Before I know it she will be walking.  Crazy how quickly time passes and they grow up.  We love her and I seriously can't get enough of her which is good because like I said, we are attached at the hip!

Finally...The First Day...

Yes, I understand it has been way too long since I lasted posted.  School let out, Summer turned three, and the rest is history.  From here on out the blog posts will be completely out of order but at least life over the last little while can be documented...kind of.

Little Miss Summer started pre-school this year and though we got off to a rocky start (total separation anxiety) it only took her a few days to adjust.  She is THRIVING and doing better than I ever expected.  Her teacher, "Mrs. Delicious", is fantastic.  Energetic and fun - she has Summer wrapped around her little finger.  I am grateful because quite frankly, this sweetie makes me tired!  She is loving having "friends" and wishes pre-school was every single day.

I have another Kindergartner and it feels weird.  I cried his first day...just as I did with the previous two.  He struggled to adjust in the few weeks - his little brain was on overload and his class is huge which makes it easy to get lost in the shuffle.  He has since totally adjusted and loves it.  For some reason I worry about him more than the older two but he is proving me wrong (as always) and is rocking it with Mrs. Taylor!

 Waving goodbye...seriously broke my heart but look at that happy face! 

 Yes, I forced them to smile with their arms around one another.  Someday they will remember that they really do love each other.  All smiles on the first day.  Kylee's teacher is fresh out of college, young and innocent, which I have decided you have to be to want to teach 5th grade.  Ms. Black is darling (wish she would marry my brother) and Kylee is continuing to grow up right before my eyes.  Seriously depressing that I have a child this old!

Kylee and her cute friends.  Love these girls but mostly grateful that the cute blonde in the middle is mine.  How lucky am I do call her mine? 

 Nick, Nick, Nick - I convinced him to wear purple and he obliged.  Amazing!  I guess living in Lehi makes the color purple ok. :)  His teacher totally gets him.  Mrs. Howard has four boys of her own and understands the way boys brains work.  She has been wonderful.  So, so, so wonderful.  He has made lots of new friends and is seriously a mother's dream when it comes to school work.  Such a great kid! 

Phew.  I documented the first day of school 2012.  Today is Halloween which is a long time after the actual first day of school but we do what we can!  

Summer is THREE!

I could not love this little blue-eyed sweetie any more.  There is never a dull moment with Summer around!  She is busy and stubborn but when she looks at me with her crystal clear blue eyes I kind of melt.  I am so incredibly grateful to be her mom.  

Summer's favorites at THREE:

* She loves to play with cars - she could do it all day long and our collection is huge!

* She loves going to the store - each morning starts with "are we going to Costco, or Walmart, or the Dollar Store"? She knows how to drive to each so if she thinks we need to go to Target and I don't drive that direction she throws a fit.  

*She loves water!  At three in the afternoon when I am done chasing her I turn on the shower or bath, give her cars, and leave her there.  She could play in the water forever!  

* She loves to say "I hate you" to get a reaction (I don't think she knows what it means)  It is usually followed by a giggle and then a sweet "I love you".

* When she is hurt or upset she cries for big sister Kylee.

* She loves Jake and the Neverland Pirates on the Disney Channel.  

* She has an obsession with airplanes and helicopters.  She can always hear them first and then searches the sky until she finds them.

* She loves to ride the wiggle bike down the hill in and around the corner of our house.  She has no fear of speed.  It makes anyone watching nervous but she hasn't crashed yet!

* She loves the color purple.

* She loves to be "matching" with Kylee.  I think Kylee cooperates right now and it makes Summer happy!

* She loves her friends Chole and Eden.  She begs all day every day to play with "her friends".

* She loves to dance to "Break Your Heart" knows most of the words.

* She has a literal obsession with drinking fountains, flushing toilets and washing her hands.  She will not potty train but likes to act like she is so that she can flush the toilet and wash her hands.

* She loves LIFE cereal, bananas, yogurt, string cheese and peanut butter sandwiches.  When making her sandwiches we have to make sure she is allowed to put the honey on or she won't eat it.

Happy Birthday to my favorite THREE year old!  

The Greats!

I cannot tell you how much I love these pictures and how much I love these people!  Our kids refer to them as "Grandpa & Grandma Great" and to me they are just that....GREAT.  I am so blessed to have both my dad's parents still alive and loving their new grandbabies.  Someday I will get a chance to tell little Emma all about her Great Grandparents and how wonderful they were.  My mom's parents have both passed but I find that the kids ask questions often and love to hear me talk about them.  I think it is important to understand where they come from.  I have great memories of visiting both sets of Grandparents in Oregon each year, playing in the rain in their backyard, swimming in the pool, making a trip to the beach, playing with cousins...the list goes on.  I have a great extended family and feel lucky to have such wonderful grandparents to look to as an example of how to live!  Another priceless picture...thanks mom!   

Cousin Love!

Emma met 6 day old cousin Mays yesterday!  He is adorable and so tiny compared to Emma.  I am sure these two will be best friends and will surely get into plenty of trouble together.  We love having cousins so close in age!